If you smacked a kid in the face with a bottle of Johnson's No More Tears, would it create beautiful irony?
Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children
If your name was homework, i'de be doing you on my desk right now
The reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Girls are like square numbers, if they're under 13 just do them in your head.
What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.
Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster
Girls are like paladins, they get mounts for free :(
If we're all God's children, what makes Jesus so special?
If my hand could get pregnant, today I would be the father and founder of the third global superpower.
That Jesus Christ guy is getting some terrible lag... it took him 3 days to respawn!
This girl rang me up one time, she says "come over, nobody is home", I went over, no one was home...
In a world full of women, you're the man!
The axiom of Paris Hilton: "I must go down on what comes up."
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
I USE CAPS LOCK BECAUSE I WILL BECOME NOTICED, POPULAR, AND GOOD IN BED
If I was ever playing hide-and-go-seek I would want Anne Frank on my team.
If you are what you eat, then I'm fast, cheap and easy

LOL. these are damn funny!